A 95-year old women decided that she'd seen and done everything,
and the time had come to depart from this world. After considering
various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the 
conclusion that the quickest and surest way method would be to 
shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn't certain
about exactly where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked
him. He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left
nipple.

  So she shot herself in the left kneecap.