-CLONING-

The REALLY GOOD news

  The public was in titillated awe upon hearing news of the cloning 
of the sheep "Dolly" in Edinburgh.  But the variety and multitude 
of applications of this exciting new technology continue to grow 
unabated.  Only a few weeks ago, it was announced that the cloning 
process had been used to duplicate a sheep's liver, only one small 
part of a larger organism.  Scientists prognosticate that this type 
of application will likely lead to the ability to clone human organs
and body parts as well.
  Though at first blush the primary value of this type of cloning 
appears to be the potential to offer replacements to people with 
defective organs, I think you will agree with me that this technology 
can serve a much more noble purpose. Specifically, the cloning of BOOBS!
  Not only will there be no more need to negotiate with the biological 
boob owner for use of the boob, there will also be no limit of 2 boobs 
per negotiation.  Cost permitting, one can own as many as one wishes 
and fellow owners may wish to collect and trade their boobs.
  In light of this valuable procedure, I have some suggestions for the 
uses of these new test tube boobs...

1).  Paperweight.

2).  Forget "Koosh Balls" and other malleable executive stress relieving
     devices, nothing imparts healing power like a squeezed boob.

3).  Xmas tree ornaments.

4).  Throw Pillows - nothing spruces up your tired old
     apartment like a few carefully placed boobs.

5).  Centerpiece - a nice boob arrangement in a bowl or basket is 
     suitable for those special dinner parties. (TIP: tanning a boob or
     two can produce a nice contrast of colors).

6).  Forget pacifiers.

7).  In sufficient numbers, boobs can replace your waterbed mattress.

8).  Chill your boobs and then apply topically to reduce swelling.

9).  Heated boobs are a vast improvement on the water bottle concept.

10). Crack your friends up - for big laughs, use boobs as replacements 
     for croquet balls, badminton shuttlecocks or pool balls.

11). Place a boob, nipple side up, in your window.  Makes a
     great thermometer!

  God bless scientists everywhere - THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES!!!